Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
