is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
