Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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