I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Panties = found
Randomize
