I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
