when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize