so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
