Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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