dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
