If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
