I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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