my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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