How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
