It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
