I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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