kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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