90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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