Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
