your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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