sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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