lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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