HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I smell like Dick and happiness
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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