Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
