Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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