This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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