dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
