when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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