Someone shit on the floor
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize