should my penis look like a turkey
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
