I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
