so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
