not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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