So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
