Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
