i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
