Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
