went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
