he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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