We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
