is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
