You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
