I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
