and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
