I hate your face
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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