We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
