genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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