I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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