if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
