Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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