david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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