there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
