so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize