I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize