I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
