So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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