i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
