You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
