I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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