Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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