I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
