your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
whose parrot is this?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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