i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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