Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
