what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
