Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
