We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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